Laziness: Part Two

Two blog posts in one day?! I have a break from writing and this is the result – so expect to be bombarded with blog posts and word count updates over the next couple of days while I get my groove back.

I’ve just read an interesting short article about writer’s block and getting in the right mindset to finish that first draft I’m struggling with, and thought I’d share my own ideas on the subject while it’s all fresh in my head.

The article in question was this (in case you were wondering).

This part, a little ways down the page, really sang to me:

Lower your standards. Writer’s block really originates from high standards.

And there, the crux of my problem!

I always think too much when writing, wanting every little thing to be word-perfect, when really, there’s no plausible way a first draft can be perfect in any sense of the word. Sure, I can be proud of portions of the text, and the text as a whole, but I’m certainly not about to send it off to an editor/publisher/agent without first heavily revising every single line on those glossy white pages.

So, my cure for the writer’s block and mass laziness that has consumed me is thus: stop being so damned picky and just write!

It really is that simple. And I know this; have known this for quite some time. Seeing it in print just now, though, has merely cemented that fact in my brain.

Now, I shall write, and keep the words there, no matter how terrible I think they may be.

I feel a second wind coming on. The ‘Poppy’ story is saved!

P.S. For those that care, my word count since last night is 2,395.

Lazy Ant is Lazy

Current Status: Lazy

Food Consumed: Too lazy to eat

On The iPod: Too lazy to check

Word Count: See above

Writing is tough.

It’s tough to try and focus your mind on the task, especially after a long, hard day having stared at a computer screen for 8 + hours. It’s tough to get into the right mood to write a certain scene when you’re dog-tired and have the attention span of a two-year-old because of this fact.

Sometimes, trying to force those words on the page – virtual or otherwise – is too difficult a task to even contemplate, little own actually do; so you give up for the day, retire the pen and the paper, and the laptop to its spot on the desk, and give into the laziness consuming you.

That’s basically what I’ve been doing for the past week: letting the laziness win.

This would be slightly understandable, had I been slaving away in the office like usual. But I wasn’t. I was on holidays – time away from work and the stress and the mental exhaustion that plagues me on a near-daily basis. So I should’ve been writing up a storm, when what I was really doing was sitting on my lazy behind, doing diddly-squat and whinging about doing diddly-squat.

When I’m writing, I’m happy; but when I’m not writing, I’m pissed off – with myself, no one else. I feel like I should be writing a substantial amount every day – and by substantial I mean at least 1,000 – so when I don’t, and still haven’t achieved this for three days in a row (for example), I’m downright ropable!

I have no one to blame but myself for this sheer laziness that has taken over of late. I know I can break through the barrier if I force myself to do it: actually sit there and make myself stay until I reached my day’s goals. Like everything in this life, though, it’s easier said than done.

The problem I have now is that the ‘Poppy’ story has just entered into the murky middle stages – the part where I always struggle, no matter how bright the beginning seems, nor how vividly I can picture the end scene.

The middle section of a novel is where it can so easily all fall apart at the seams. If you don’t have as strong a centre as the rest, then you don’t have a story. Period.

Right now, ‘Poppy’ doesn’t have a story, essentially. She has a wonderful, fluid beginning that I’m proud of; a strong, rounded voice, and characters I have fallen in love with – but she doesn’t have a backbone to speak of.

Hence my frustration and subsequent attack of the lazys.

Last night I decided to scrap my chapter divisions in ‘Poppy’ and go with a bulk block of text. As the structure is a fragmented one, anyway, I think this should sit just as well – if not better – in the long run.

I even managed to get a few words down in the notebook, and transferred some of them into the ‘Poppy’ word doc.

I remember breaking the 35,000 word-barrier at some stage, though I’m too fearful/lazy to check exactly how much I did manage to write yesterday. I know I’m nowhere near the 50,000 words I wanted for the end of November, and nowhere near the end of the first draft of ‘Poppy’. {sigh}

What have I learned, then?

That I’m lazy, and that I’m lazy.

Some things never change.

A Book Signing & Dorothy Shoes

Current Status: Sleepy

Food Consumed: Salad

On The iPod: Halo/Walking on Sunshine Mash-Up; Glee Cast

Word Count: 1,098

I’ll get the tough stuff out of the way first.

Basically, I have written nothing over the past few days. Or, next to nothing. My not-NaNoWriMo total stands at 22,453, which is really poor. I’ve been more than a slack bitch. Somebody should slap me. The ‘Poppy’ story is currently flailing on 34,579. I should have stopped and started my manuscript edits, but I want to finish this first. It is a good story, it’s just my brain isn’t working with it right now.

I went to a Judy Nunn book signing last night. It was my first. {{Yes, I was a book signing/book launch virign prior to last night. So sue me.}} I have to stay that it wasn’t what I expected, but I did enjoy myself. I was hella nervous when it came to actually saying hello and getting my brand new copy of her latest, ‘Maralinga,’ signed.

I dragged my mother along because I was too scared to go on my own. I’ve never been one to tackle a room full of strangers all by myself, even if it’s an event I really, really want to go to. I hate crowds. I loathe meeting new people. In other words, I’m a sook.

I didn’t get a photo. I was going to ask (many people were, and Judy didn’t mind) but there was that nervous thing cropping up again. Plus, I had a lovely chat with her, which kind of held up the already large line of people waiting to get their books signed, and I felt bad about holding them up so I could talk to her and get a photo as well. So I didn’t.

I figured meeting her, getting a signed book and having her wish me luck with my manuscript was enough. I even got kisses in my book message because she liked me, and was thrilled to hear I would be tackling the publishing world in the near future with a manuscript or two of my own.

Can I just say that I think everyone should go out and buy a copy of her new book. It sounds like it’s going to be a good read, and she is the sweetest, loveliest lady – honestly, she had nothing but smiles and kind words for us.

Her publicist even picked me out of the line to comment on my shoes. I was wearing my Dorothy flats – ruby red and utterly divine! I have a slight obsession for Dorothy shoes. I got married in them, after all. I think every fashionable wardrobe should have at least one pair of ruby heels.

I must be off! I have 6 hours until the midnight premiere of ‘New Moon’ (which I am attending with a friend), and lots of pampering and the application of toothpicks to my eyelids to attend to. I have had a horridly emotional day, thanks to some anti-inflamm. medication that likes nothing better than to give me the run-around, so I’m exhausted: physically and mentally. I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay awake, but I’ll give it my darndest.

Post-Cut

Current Status: Frustrated

Food Consumed: A Hungry Jacks burger, fries and coke + 2 x Gaiety biscuits (nomnom)

On The iPod: The Small Print; Muse

Word Count: 3,925

I cut the last portion of ‘Poppy:’ Chapter 10 last night. I was happy at the time. I was happy this morning. Now the words have dried up again. Fucking painful!

‘Poppy’ story is now at 113 pages, 33, 481 words, and has stalled.

My not-NaNoWriMo word count now stands at 11,355.

If I’m still struggling with ‘Poppy’ by tomorrow, I’m going to put it on hold while I start on the edits to ‘Times of Bright.’ No sense trying to force something that isn’t there when I have plenty of other work to do on the first manuscript.

ETA: That not-NaNoWriMo word count above is slightly inaccurate. I just realised that total was for this week only – I’d written an additional 10,000 words the week before. So my not-NaNoWriMo total doesn’t look so bad after all. It’s sitting pretty on 21,355 words. Not a bad effort, all things considered.

Goals and Other Writerly Things

Current Status: Hungry

Food Consumed: Extra-early morning caffeine (in the form of vanilla coke)

On The iPod: Misc. workshop noises

Word Count: So far today – zilch

It’s Thursday morning. Too early. My brain doesn’t want to be thinking about anything right now, but especially not some plot point I dreamed last night that is slightly hazy now I’m awake. If you’d call my current state awake.

There’s still four more days in the week for me to reach my write goal – which, this week, is 15,000 words. If I get there, I will have exactly 25,000 words, which brings me exactly halfway to 50K at exactly halfway of the not-NaNoWriMo month. So I will be well and truly on track.

I just did a quick tally for the week so far – 7,430 words. Again, I’m halfway there, but with less than half of the week to go. Damn. I need to get off my lazy ass and get those words down – what the hell have I been doing?! {{Oh yeah, upping my score in Cafe World… oops!}}

The ‘Poppy’ story reached another milestone this week (last night, to be precise). It’s now 100 pages young, and still going strong. I went to sleep before I reached 30,000 words, though, which is unfortunate. I really wanted to crack that mark in a sort of 100-page-30-K super-special.

Still, I know I’ll pass 30K today. The ‘Poppy’ story is really getting there. I’d say I’m quite in love with it, actually, but I’m not sure that’s allowed. Can you be head over heels for your own story and admit it, or is that just showing extreme bias?

I let one of my good friends into Poppy’s world this week. I’m always nervous whenever someone reads something new for the first time. It’s like I’m putting a piece of myself on a pedestal and praying they’ll like me (and I kind of am, really). The desperate desire for feedback, though, always gets the better of me. My ego likes to be stoked regularly.

I start holidays as of 4 pm this afternoon which, conceivably, means I should be able to get a shit-load of writing done between now and the time I have to be back at work. This not-NaNoWriMo goal I’ve forced on myself seems to be working, though, so I should be able to keep up the good numbers. Heh – I should just pretend that every month is not-NaNoWriMo for me, and then maybe I wouldn’t go through so many dry spells?

I should be off. I dreamed up a really hot sex scene between Poppy and her main “love interest” (I say love interest because I’m not sure what else to call him) last night, and I want to get that down on paper – stat!

So this is me leaving. Total ‘Poppy’ word count so far is 29,556.

Mint Drumstick is Really Minty

Current Status: Sick

Food Consumed: 1 x mint drumstick & a shit-load of potato bake

On The iPod: Sarah Connor’s screams (from ‘Terminator 1’)

Word Count: 2,472

My husband’s cricket bag really stinks. He’s cleaning it out now – it’s 9:10 pm and he has a game at 8:00 am tomorrow, and he’s had all week to clean it and wash his smelly cricket gear. So basically the bag really stinks. Honestly, it’s foul. And I feel sick in turn because I’m sitting here smelling it. Plus, I just consumed a mint drumstick after eating way too much potato bake.

Smelly cricket gear + mint drumstick + eyes bigger than my stomach = a very sick writingant.

Yeah. It’s not good.

What is good is the day I’ve managed to have after thinking I was coming down with the flu last night. Husband had to work this morning (harsh on a Saturday, I know!) so I had the entire house to myself. What’s a girl to do? Break out the pens and the purdy note paper, crank up the iPod to the max and rock out to my manuscript’s playlist whilst getting some much-needed words down.

It was great!

I’m in the process of typing it all up now as I write (type) this (so the word count will follow in a little while). For some reason it’s easier for my brain to think of the right words when I write it out by hand first, and then transfer it to the computer later. It’s double-handling, I know, and takes twice as long, but I can’t seem to work my head around getting out of this bad habit. Maybe one day, but not now.

The ‘Poppy’ story is still coasting along at its usual pace. I just started on chapter 8 this evening – almost in the double figures. Exciting! I also broke the 20K mark, so I’m now officially allowed to get excited about this little tale. Yay!

Also, in a kinda related subject… I found a new ‘Muse’ song last night whilst traipsing around iTunes in a bid to rid myself of my raging headache (it does actually help most of the time, believe it or not). ‘Undisclosed Desires,’ it’s called. It just became my new favourite song on the ‘Poppy’ story playlist.

I know you’ve suffered,
But I don’t want you to hide,
It’s cold and loveless,
I won’t let you be denied

Soothing,
I’ll make you feel pure,
Trust me,
You can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask,
I want to exorcise the demons from your past,
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

It’s so totally ‘Poppy’ that I just had to share it. Throughout the course of writing this novel I will post my playlist, images that continue to inspire me, etc, on the road to getting the first draft complete. I’m always so interested in finding out these little tidbits from my favourite authors – it’s like a behind-the-scenes look at how a novel is created, in a way. I just love it!

I’d best get on typing up today’s mighty efforts (I already know it’s a mighty effort without a word count – there’s 14 pages of handwritten mess to get through!) so I can add a count in at the top of this post and get to bed. Tomorrow morning I have a ‘Skype’ date with my BFF and a very hot and sweaty Urbanizer, c/w combat gear.

{{Ah, Kyle Reese just died. Damn. I was really rooting for the guy. Michael Biehn was a bit of a fox in his day.}}

Ahem. So, that word count. Keep an eye out for the edit.

In the meantime, sweet, bookish dreams to you all! I know I’ll be dreaming of my Poppy and Anton!

EDIT: I have updated the post with the day’s final word count. Total ‘Poppy’ count is 22,126. 72 pages. Now sleep.

Glee-dom and all Things GLEE!

Current Status: Bored at work

Food Consumed: Caffeine

On The iPod: The sound of machines whirring in the workshop (not conducive to writing)

Word Count: 2420

Before I begin I should point out that the word count above is from last night, and not today. Last night I was distracted (not to the point where I couldn’t write anything – as you can see I wrote quite a bit in my cute pattern journal) by the awesomeness that is ‘Glee,’ and Mark Salling’s cavity-inducing sweetness, that I plum-forgot about typing up all that I’d written, to get a word count.

So, the word count is a little late in coming, but whatever, it’s still nearly 2,500 words more than I had the day before.

I’m not entirely sure if I’ll be able to beat that today. I’d like to think I can – it is TGIF, after all – but my co-worker has just come back from two weeks of Hawaiian bliss, and it would be awfully rude of me to ignore her gushings of holiday perfection for my (not-NaNoWriMo) write-goal.

Reading over what I managed to write last night during the ad breaks in ‘Glee,’ I’m surprised at how it turned out. ‘Glee’ is such a sugar-fest: it is sickly sweet, to the point of nausea, highly comical (highly addicting!), and doesn’t take itself seriously at all, whereas what I’m currently writing is dark, twisted – basically everything that ‘Glee’ is not.

I guess I was lucky the scene I was trying to write last night was more low-key than others directly before it, so I could handle a bit of sugar-coating mixed in with my undertones of doom and gloom.

Last’s night mighty effort has the ‘Poppy’ story at 63 pages, 19, 690 words. Almost at that crucial 20,000-mark. I always tell myself that if/when I make it to 20K, I can get officially excited about the story, and where it’s taking me.

‘Poppy’ story, you’re almost there – don’t let me down now!

The Stench of Macaroni Impedes my Progress

Current Status: Over-chocolated

Food Consumed: Chocolate digits x 1000

On The iPod: Girlfriend on Demand; Joss Stone

Word Count: 823

I’m edging closer to the end of chapter six.

The ‘Poppy Story’ is coming slower than ‘Times of Bright’ did; though I’m working without the safety net of a plot timeline for this one.

Another couple pages written tonight. Another pretty cruddy word count.

The stench of husband’s post-cricket macaroni is overpowering, as is the sound of senseless beating in the background (courtesy of some boxing movie I don’t care to know the name of). Time to head off and lull myself to sleep with the now familiar strains of the ‘Poppy Story’s’ playlist, and dream up the next scenes in the sequence.

For those that care, the total page count so far is 56. Total word count on the ‘Poppy Story’ is 17, 272.